What a great day! I was able to volunteer at the kids' school and cap off the day with a lacrosse game. Good day to be a Dad. I guess that's all this whole job thing boils down to me. I'm a Dad who loves his kids. I want to see them taken care of, and that's why I work. I have not been particularly happy with my job the last few years, so I don't feel a great loss there. What I fear is not my career being stunted: it's not having a paycheck so that I can provide for my kids.
But today was great. I got a job lead, finished updating my resume, and, besides checking my email and Facebook accounts every 15 seconds to see whether I had received any news, I was not manic about anything. Last time I was unemployed, I really hit the wall. I learned through that experience. Granted, it's only been a few days, but the last experience taught me the way God works things out. And let me tell you, He does things His own way.
Last time I was unemployed, I was actively attending seminary. I had my plans all set. Seminary, ordination, full-time vocational ministry. Even after I was unemployed, I kept telling God in my head just how He could make all of this happen through my unemployment. Our best laid plans are nothing but crap, though.
I have learned more about myself in the last five years than at any other time in my life. I'm anxious to learn more, and hopefully change from the experience. God's ways are best. I've come to accept that I might never complete my seminary education, might never enter the full-time vocational ministry. That's just fine. He has blessed me in many more ways. And I wouldn't change a thing.
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I think that you are being very brave throughout this. I'm glad that you like being a father, but how about a husband? I hope that I can encourage you thorough out all of this, but I do need for you to keep talking to me. I love you.
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