New U2 single and other disappointments: UPDATE

It looks like someone has been reading this blog after all:
http://www.atu2.com/news/article.src?ID=5231

New U2 single and other disappointments

I love U2. Like other people that love U2, I have been waiting with anticipation for their new album since the last one they released way back in 2004. U2 is one of those bands that likes to integrate new sounds into their albums, to push the boundaries of their artistic creativity, and to stay current with many of the trends popular in the industry at the time so as to constantly grow their fan base. Being part of the fan base, I have read every article describing what the new album would sound like: they went to Morocco for some middle eastern inspiration, they hung out with Kanye West and recorded with Mary J. Blige and promised to integrate some hip hop (a great concern to me), and of course, the earliest indications were that it would indeed be straight ahead rock 'n' roll. On March 3 we will finally get to hear if what we read in all of those articles is really true, when No Line on the Horizon is released to the ears of the waiting public.

As a teaser, U2 released the first single early. Called "Get On Your Boots", it shows some promise. I think it's good, but I hope they released the worst stuff as singles first. It's the sixth track on the album, which does little to instill confidence, as I would think that if there were stronger singles they would be placed earlier on the album.

To answer the question that's forming in your head right now, yes, I will buy the album the day it is released and no, I have not purchased the single from iTunes. I had not even heard the song through anything but my dinky computer speakers until it was played on the radio yesterday on my way home from work. That was a better experience to be sure, but it raised another, even more nagging question than how good the single actually is. There was something in the verse of the song that bothered me, some skeleton in the top 40 closet that wouldn't go away. And then it came to me, all at once:

"She's so mean but I don't care
I love her eyes and her wild wild hair...
Living in the wild, wild west..."

Yes, I was able to place the chorus to "Wild, Wild West" after each verse. Easily. I'm talking about a group called Escape Club and their (only) number one hit, "Wild, Wild West" (1988). I have included the video below:


While I cannot say that this song is among my favorites, it does have a catchy element to it. Now, here's the U2 single. Remember, only the verses are similar:


Granted, they aren't totally identical, but I think the similarities are greater than those between George Harrison's "My Sweet Lord" and the Chiffons' "He's So Fine". If you don't know how that one turned out, a federal court ruled that the former Beatle had "unintentionally copied" the earlier song.

Just for fun, I looked up the lyrics to "Wild, Wild West" and played "Get On Your Boots" while I read the lyrics out loud. Fun to be sure. (This is going to come across as blasphemy to most U2 fans, but I think Escape Club actually has a better chorus.)

So, anticipation is growing. I'm saving my pennies for the new album and will probably at least make an attempt to see them in concert (good luck with that, since Charlotte is a small enough city to get them on a third leg at best for one night at best). Still, I have U2 to blame for getting that ridiculous other song in my head. And you now have me to thank.

You're welcome.

Career change

Today was "cake day" at work. Cake day is a wonderful day. Our break room, usually chocked full of apples, grapes, and banana halves, is transformed into a cakey wonderland. Muffins. Lemon Bundt cakes. Sometimes even donuts. (Mmmm. Donuts.)

The lemon cake is the best. Moist on the inside, the icing gives it an ever so slight crunch that I find quite satisfying. These are sweet moments. Times reserved for reflection. Being stuck at work, reflection is really just code for "wishing I were anywhere else." While reflecting today about all the other places I would rather be, I had an epiphany.

Don't we live in the land of opportunity? Doesn't opportunity knock often, begging us to reach out and grab it? I decided that now is the time that I finally follow my dream.

And become a taste tester.

Preferably the kind that tastes cake.

Lots of cake.

All day long.

Thirty five hours a week. (If I can have my dream job, it's going to be one that doesn't require a full forty hours.)

So, I began my search. First up was TastyKake. Sanitation workers. Production line workers. Nope. No tasters.

Next up, Little Debbie. This looked promising, because they even had positions in North Carolina. All for drivers. Long haul drivers.

How on earth do these people expect to create an exceptional product if they are hauling stuff around all the time? I need to be where the magic happens: as close to the kitchen as possible. Little Debbie was thus dismissed from further consideration.

In a last ditch, desperate effort to make all my dreams come true, I went to the very top. The cake-baker of cake-bakers. The ultimate in gas station cuisine (next to Slim Jim) --Hostess. Hostess doesn't seem to post jobs on the Web, so I ended up at the "Contact Us" page, pouring my soul into a message that I can only hope reached the right people:

I was scanning your site for information about careers with Hostess. I have been a fan of your products for years...back when "King Dons" were still "Ding Dongs" in fact. Those were the days. Anyway, I think I have decided that I need a career change, and have decided that I should be a taste tester or some other job where I can eat cake all day long. Of course, I have always appreciated your delicious pudding and fruit pies the most, so I'm open to a job where I can eat pie all day long too. Please let me know of any job opportunities in this area and I will send you a resume, picture, and proposed workout schedule. My current employer will require at least two weeks notice, and I would like to start by at least Christmas. I look forward to your response!
Brad

I will keep you appraised of how this SOS grabs the attention of the CEO, whom I imagine will hire me post-haste. In the meantime, my coworker sent it to her sister, a corporate whiz, for her thoughts:

This is great. Whether they actually hire him or not is debatable. But, if I were guessing, I'd say the email is at least going to get some visibility in the company. This is the type of message that gets forwarded all over a company. If nothing else, they might use it, or him, in a commercial or ad.

Advice : the resume should include some experience with Little Debbie, Sara Lee, and Krispy Kreme in order to position himself as an expert. Broad experience across an entire industry is a plus on any resume. He might also want to offer expertise in breads as Hostess is owned by the same company that owns Wonder Bread.

Tell him good luck. I'm pulling for him. Everyone should have a chance at their dream job.

Yes. My dream job. I have big ideas. If her thoughts about making me a character in a commercial come true, I could be bigger than Jared! And by bigger, I mean literally. The Anti-Jared. This has so much potential.

Bana-fana-fofana

Gaze upon the following picture and think about what it is that you see:


Yes, bananas. But if you concentrate really hard, you will see that half of the banana in the center of the picture is missing. Mysterious, isn't it?

This photo was taken in the break room at work. I have one of those employers that supplies snacks for its workers. Good deal, right? But there is someone that consistently comes in and cuts a banana in half...and leaves the half they aren't eating.

Who does this? Am I to believe that a whole banana is just way too big to consume in one sitting? Are they watching their weight perhaps?

The more pressing question is: Who on earth wants the other half?

I can see if they set out a large bowl of fruit salad (yummy-yummy). With fruit salad, you load up a serving for yourself and leave the rest. But whole fruits are different. Especially bananas. Their very texture lend them to being a "one eater only" type fruit.

For example, I can eat a half-eaten hamburger that one of my children leaves, but if they start on a banana, it's theirs. Eating the rest of that banana would certainly induce gagging.

Consider this as a public service announcement from Wastebasket Confessional...if you cannot eat a whole banana, don't take it. If you really need potassium and the only thing available is the banana from the break room, PLEASE take the whole thing. No one else wants the remaining half.

For Dan...

Angst at the pump

I have had it. I can take no more. I am so tired of filling up my car. Someone has to do something to stop the madness. I'm not talking about gas prices, either. It's the flippin' pumps. It's like playing 20 questions just to fill up. Consider the typical fill up:

(Swipe card.)
Pump: Is this a debit card? Press Yes or No.

(Press Yes.)
Pump: Enter pin number then press Enter.

(Enter pin number.)
Pump: Would you like a car wash?

(Press No.)
Pump: Would you like to buy a Slurpee?

(Press No with force.)
Pump: They are super good! We have Coca Cola and Blue Raspberry!

(Swear at pump. Press No.)
Pump: That is a mean word!

(Kick pump.)
You: "I just want to fill up my tank!"
Pump: Lift handle, raise lever, select grade, and begin pumping.

(Smile smugly knowing that you have forced the pump to do your bidding. The questions are over. You will finish this and be on your way!)
Pump: Would you like a receipt? Enter Yes or No.

(This last part really bugs me. In North Carolina, if you drive off without paying, you lose your license automatically. Fine. But what if they mistake you for the guy that drives off without paying? I like to have ready proof of purchase. But then, I'm paranoid.)

(Press Yes.)
Pump: Take receipt.

Are all these steps necessary? Isn't there some way that you could go to the gas station and just buy gas without jumping through all the hoops? It was easier just to pay cash.

What's really important in DC

Redskins trump politics.

Play ball!

For those that have known me any length of time, you know that I am fairly harsh when it comes to baseball. Yes, I have ranted about the slowness of the game, the lack of athletic prowess involved, and the seeming determination of Major League Baseball to kill what's left of it.

I have proven in the past that I'm not above using this blog as a real confessional, so I will now confess something that is harder to admit than just liking the music of John Denver...

I think I'm starting to like baseball.

Yes, after years of living in denial, the nagging of certain friends, and bashing the game more than even Euro-football, it took my sons' involvement to help me see the beauty and fun of the game. So, here's a recap of opening day...


St. John Neumann Defenders
Charlotte, NC is renowned for its warm climate, drawing Yankees from far and wide to this "New Southern" town. Last Friday saw temperatures close to 80. Saturday saw temperatures in the 60s...for about 10 minutes. By the time the game ended, it was 57 degrees and falling. But not our spirits! The boys played an excellent game. Though the books marked it a loss, it was a spirited contest which saw this group of 9-12 year-olds take on a team that the previous year won the area championship. I'll let the coach give you the recap:

Just wanted to let you guys know what I thought of our first game on Saturday. In just a few words, I thought it was great. First pitch of the game was a strike. First batter we faced struck out. In two different innings, with two different pitchers, we held the other team without scoring. In the last inning it only took us only10 pitches to shut them down and all three outs came from defensive plays by the DEFENDERS. I got to watch the whole team leave the dugout to high five and congratulate one our own after he hit a towering home run into the parking lot. By the way, we know where not to park when we play on that field. We also had our first double play, and might I add that it was unassisted to end the inning. In 6 innings the other team only struck out 4 times. That means we made 14 plays from the field for outs (OUTstanding). It's hard to believe all this happened in only our first game, but it still gets better. We even had a play at the p late and nailed the runner trying to score.

My son played left and right fields, and even had a turn on second base. While he was struck out once, he had a mean hit right down the third base line. Not too shabby for his first time playing since tee-ball. It looks to be a great season.

Idlewild Baptist Bulldogs (the "Dawgs")
The first game was cold, this one was colder. But even with the wind blowing right through us the whole time, the Dawgs put on an impressive display of skill and determination. My son played catcher for three innings, which he especially liked because, as he said, the equipment kept him warm. But what difference is a little weather? The fans were fired up, the kids were prepared, and the peanuts were boiled (?!?).

As I already mentioned, my son played catcher for three innings, a surprise to me because I had never seen him practice that position before. But he did an outstanding job. It brought back memories of watching my brother play the position when he was a lad. As for hitting, he struck out once and walked. He advanced to second at one point before the inning ended. It was a fun game to watch.

You can see pictures and get updates on the Dawgs on their online home.

Overall, it was a great day, and one that has dawned a new chapter in my own life. My Dad used to take us to nearby Baltimore to see the Orioles play, and I didn't fully appreciate it then (sorry Dad). But, a new day is dawning and I'm a new man. DC has its own team, and even my Dad's converted to their cause. Maybe I'll make the pilgrimage along with him. And I can thank my boys for the journey.

Tormented writer

I was looking at a sign at one of the local Jack in the Box restaurants the other day. The sign boasted an offering of breakfast "Day or Nite."

I hate it when "night" is misspelled that way.

Then I thought, "Did they spell it that way to be cute? Or did someone do it because they really think it's spelled that way?" So, now I'm not sure how I should take it: were they trying to be clever, or are they really ignorant? Should I be filled with mirth or pity?

I wonder what they really get out of spelling it incorrectly. Besides reinforcing the great ignorance of the English language that is already so prevalent in our society and ensuring that other ignoramuses pick up on it and begin spelling it that way, they only saved themselves the cost of printing one extra letter.

"Nite" is four letters. "Night" is five. You can swap the "e" in the former for the "g" in the latter and buy an "h". Maybe they would even save a buck or two by not purchasing that "e" in the first place. Everyone knows that buying a vowel costs more than a consonant.

This is the same kind of consternation I experience when I go through (not "thru") the "10 Items or Less" lane at the super market. Ten items or LESS? It should be "Ten items or FEWER"!

Writers have a hard time going out.

Pod together now

As of my birthday in January, I am the proud owner of an 80 GB (80 GBs!), 5th Generation Apple iPod. It is so choice. I highly recommend picking one up if you have the means. (Apologies to John Hughes.)

I read an article in the August 17, 2007 Charlotte Observer that intrigued me about iPods and the people that own them. (Yes, it's old news. I intended to post on it way back then, but never did. Owning my very own iPod reinspired me.) The title of the article was "iPods Exposed". In it, columnist Jeff Elder went up to the plugged-in people on the street and interrupted their musical bliss by asking, "What are you listening to?" Hilarity ensues. (One guy admitted to Elder that he was listening to "Elmo's Song." I shudder to think of it...)

The thrust of the article is that our iPods are supposed to say something about our personalities. I thought this was interesting. What was more interesting was that some psychologist at UNC Chapel Hill told him that asking what someone has on their iPod is "voyeuristic". "It's like asking, 'What kind of underwear do you have on?'" What underwear, smart guy?

But seriously, if our iPods are extensions of our personalities, and our play lists are so secretive, what does that say about who we really are versus the way we present ourselves? Are we afraid to admit who we are? Have we found one more face of the Stranger?

I have decided that it is my duty as a responsible blogger to help all people to embrace who they are. That's right, discerning readers. I want to know what you have on your iPods or other MP3 players. Don't be bashful. Reveal your darkest Elmo secrets to me.

And while you're at it, I also need some advice. Do any of you have any rules about what you put on your iPod? For instance, I have one friend that refuses to put more than two songs from any one artist on her iPod. I met another guy that puts only whole albums on his. Does anyone have any kind of arbitrary rules that you follow regarding your iPod?

Horn broken...

Sometimes it's better when people don't identify themselves as Christians.

Myself included.

Adventures in Sunday School Planning

The following two sentences were taken directly from some online material I was using to get ideas for tomorrow's Sunday School lesson. See if you can find what's wrong:

Make the Jesus Craft. It may seem a tad odd making Jesus out of a toilet paper roll, but I think the end result is quite nice.

Goodbye, Farewell, We'll Meet Again

I just read here that Larry Norman died last Sunday. Norman was legendary in his ability to communicate his faith in an edgy and thought-provoking way, all the while eschewing the Christian contemporary music (CCM) establishment that claimed his work as their genesis.

Norman would never get air play on today's Christian radio stations: he wasn't packaged or predictable enough. Singing lines such as "Gonorrhea on Valentine's Day, you're still looking for the perfect lay" didn't endear him to the establishment, but that was his charm. One famous CCM Magazine article in October of 1995 labeled him a "troubled troubadour" and implied that he was insane. In response, Larry dressed in some old clothes and posed for, and then posted on his website, pictures of himself sprawled next to the dumpsters behind a thrift store, looking unshaven and homeless.

It was this down and outer attitude that made him so approachable to people that weren't in the church, precisely the people to whom he believed he was called to minister. He is quoted in this article as saying, "The churches weren’t going to accept me looking like a street person with long hair and faded jeans. They did not like the music I was recording. And I had no desire to preach the gospel to the converted." Quite a different take than today's CCM industry, which caters to the white, suburban, Republican evangelicals looking for "family-friendly" fare.

That he was influential in his art is unquestioned. He had an influence that went far beyond that of many of the CCM artists of today who sell millions of dollars worth of product a year. How many of them can claim collaborations with Frank Black of the Pixies or Dizzy Reed of Guns 'n' Roses? How many can claim friendships with both Jimmy Carter and Oliver North? In his book Body Piercing Saved My Life: Inside the Phenomenon of Christian Rock, SPIN journalist Andrew Beaujon related the story of a CCM executive who drove Bono to a meeting of Christian artists to discuss the ONE campaign. On the drive over, Bono asked if Larry Norman would be there. That's influence.

I had the opportunity to meet the man himself at a concert he performed at a coffee house in Lindenhurst, IL in 1997. He was very personable and even poked fun at me when my lovely wife told him that I had once mused that we could name our son "Larry Norman". He looked at me and said, "You would do that to a child?"

Until I got an iPod earlier this year, I hadn't listened to much of his music in a while. But in ripping all my CDs to it and listening again, I have realized how fresh and relevant it still sounds, although his best stuff was recorded from the late 60s to the mid 70s. If you have never listened to him, I highly recommend you check out a copy of Only Visiting This Planet. In fact, go to his online store and buy a couple of copies. He didn't die in luxury as most in the music industry do, and the money his family gets through the sale of his music will help cover his lingering medical bills and the cost of a funeral.

He will be missed by many people that hold him dear. He was influential on my own thinking after I first came to faith, and I have listened to his music for countless hours in the last 16 years. I am saddened at his passing, but confident that the mark he left on the world will be felt for years to come.

Larry Norman
1947-2008

What goes around comes around

It looks like the self-righteous Rev. Phelps and his band of weirdos at Westboro Baptist Church (no link will be provided) owes a few bucks to the family of a marine killed in Iraq. Apparently, the award is greater than the church is worth. Perhaps the good Reverend and his followers could help bury fallen servicemen to repay their debt.

As a funny side note, I went to the online home of Westboro Baptist Church in doing my due diligence for this post and found that they now present their site en español! Classic.

Current favorite song

I wanted to post something...anything... Nothing witty or clever comes to mind, so I thought I'd share my latest favorite song, John Hiatt's "Dust Down a Country Road" from his 1995 album Walk On. Enjoy.

Awkward...

So, there I was, in my friends' house, taking care of their cat. Yes, it was 8 PM. Yes, I was a little late. I had forgotten to take the keys to their home with me to work so I had to come back much later. And, to make matters worse, I couldn't remember whether they were coming back that night or the next day.

So, I was watering the plants, and the garage door suddenly opens...and there stands my friend, fresh from two weeks in the great American Southwest, rested, tanned, and finding me in her house at 8 PM.

Now, it wasn't like I was stuffing anything in my pockets, or going through their drawers. But I was in their house. And they were home. But they hadn't been when I first arrived. And I had let myself in.

Of course, I had permission to be there. They knew I would be taking care of the cat and the plants. But, still, I was in their house, when they got home. I felt dirty. Like I had been caught doing something I shouldn't have been.

So, I was caught red-handed, and started babbling like an idiot:

• "Oh! You're home!" (Duh!)
• "I am feeding the cat!" (Right...that's what we arranged....)
• "I swear, this is the first time I came this late! I forgot the key! I promise I have been feeding the cat the entire two weeks!" (By the way the cat is running around she's obviously not dead.)
• "I just got here" (As if to say that I hadn't been sleeping there.)

Now, when someone is caring for your home while you're away, you know they are in your house from time to time. But it's pretty much theoretical. Meaning, you don't actually see them there. It's kind of a personal thing, letting yourself into someone else's home. And when they come home and find you standing there...it's just strange. I would wonder why they were in my house, knowing why, of course, but wondering all the same. Then, I would ponder why, if they knew I was coming home, they didn't clear out beforehand.

Thankfully, my friends are quite calm and sane, and only laughed about it. And it looks like I'll never have to take care of their cat again, either.

Good news!

I just received a call from my brother, fresh off the plane from Iraq (via Kuwait and a few other minor stops, including Charlotte). I am glad to have him home finally. Let's remember to pray for all the other sailors, soldiers, airmen, and marines still doing what they have been called upon to do.

James, I am proud of you. Let's hurry up and have that cigar...preferably over a victory by our beloved Redskins.

Interactive, musical fun

I read this Q&A with U2 axeman (I've always wanted to refer to a guitarist using that term) The Edge (I think he capitalizes the "The") and thought it would be fun to recreate it with my own music memories. I want to note right up front that I'm no rock star, so some of the categories don't apply to me. In those cases I either fudged it so I could answer, or threw out the question altogether. I don't actually own all of the albums I have listed below, but I can assure you that I either did at one time, or had enough friends that owned it that I heard it plenty.

As a bonus to this post, I thought that it would be fun to open it up to you, the discerning reader, to add your own memories in the comment section.

So, here are The Rules. I will answer the same questions posed to The Edge (with the aforementioned exceptions). After you read my post, you can click on the "Comments" link and answer the same questions. Fun, huh?

And so, here you have it:
My Life in Music: Wastebasket Confessional

The first single I bought:
Can I Play With Madness b/w Black Bart Blues
Iron Maiden, 1988

I didn't buy many singles. I preferred getting the full album, mostly because I didn't buy music unless I liked more than one song. iTunes has since alleviated this hang-up. I am assuming Edge was talking about 7" 45 RPM records when he was talking about singles, and since I'm old enough to have purchased my fair share of vinyl, this one qualifies. It was hardly my first ever music purchase, but this is the first single. As I think back, I did buy some 12" singles. I remember buying an extended version of Duran Duran's Wild Boys, but I don't think that quite fits the spirit of the question. Plus, I would prefer to forget about that period in my life.

I remember buying Can I Play With Madness at the mall because of the novelty of it. I mean, Iron Maiden putting out a 45? Weird. I was an avid Maiden fan and so I had to make it mine. Besides, I had never heard Black Bart Blues, and for about $2.50 I made it mine.

I also bought a Metallica single under similar circumstances, but I think it was after this one. I don't actually remember what was on side one, although I think it was Last Caress. But side two had Breadfan, which I remember liking a lot.

The record that reminds me of being a teenager:
Greatest Hits, Vol. 1 and 2
Billy Joel, 1985

AND

Misplaced Childhood
Marillion, 1985


This was a tough one, so I settled on a tie. Looking back, though, the one musician that was constant among all of my friends was Billy Joel. We all listened to his music. Dan mocked me for listening to the Ramones, John couldn't stand the Sex Pistols, Peggy hated Stryper, everyone hated John Denver--but Billy Joel was well liked by all. And we ALL knew ALL of the lyrics to every single song on this two record album. We all saw him in concert at one point or another. In fact, I heard Piano Man on the radio on the way home from work today, and sang every line at the top of my lungs. The songs on this album always take me back to the parties and other gatherings when my friends were singing along with me.

The selection of Marillion is a bit odd, because it's not an album that I have ever heard all the way through. But I heard side one over and over--and I still love it. The focus of side one is the song Kayleigh, which is still one of my all-time favorites. The songs before and after Kayleigh are Pseudo Silk Kimono, Lavender, and Bitter Suite, but they all blend together to make one long song. This is not a song I ever sang out loud with a bunch of friends, but it must have been on whenever we were on long trips to school competitions ("Blue Crew!"). I hate prog-rock in general, but this album should be in my collection.

The record that made me want to play guitar:
The Power Station
The Power Station, 1985

Okay, well I'm obviously not an axeman (AGAIN!) like Mr. The Edge, so I had to pick an album that made me dream the most of being a rock star. I actually preferred a different instrument on different tracks, but this album was the first one on which I remember playing air guitar. While purists hate the remake of T. Rex's Bang a Gong (Get it On) featured on this album, it was the version of the song on this album that first introduced me to the joys of the air guitar. For those that don't remember the Power Station, this was one of two of the "super groups" that came out of Duran Duran in the mid-80s (the other being Arcadia). It featured Robert "Addicted to Love" Palmer on vocals, the drummer from the 70s disco/funk band Chic, Tony Thompson, and the unrelated bassist and guitarist from Duran², John Taylor and Andy Taylor, respectively.

The record by a local hero that inspired me:
To Hell With the Devil
Stryper, 1986

Neither Sterling, VA nor Washington, DC have pushed out any rock star or other musical act that have especially "inspired" me, so I had use the same standard as The Edge, who chose to look at all Irish acts. Since I'm not Irish, I chose to look at my own home country as a whole, which just happens to be the United States. While that gives me a much better selection, I'm kind of hung up on that whole inspired thing...so I went with one that ultimately inspired my conversion to Christ.

It's hard to tell when I first truly trusted in Christ, but it actually became a memorable experience about 3 to 4 years after I first heard this album. To Hell With the Devil was the first exposure that I really had to evangelical Christianity, and it actually generated more questions than it answered. I trace my search for those answers back to this hair band classic.

My favorite U2 record:
War, 1983


I obviously can't contradict Edge with regard to the album that most inspired U2, since I don't personally know the blokes in U2, and even if I did, I can't "correct" their perceptions of what influenced them. So, I changed this category. If you're playing along at home and don't like U2, you can obviously skip this question. Or, you could be creative and list your favorite album from some other group you like. Say for instance that you like Hanson. You could list your favorite Hanson album. See how easy this is?

I don't like Hanson, but I have liked this album since the first time I ever heard it, which was sometime after I heard The Unforgettable Fire, but before I heard The Joshua Tree. This was the album I used to judge U2 during the 90s (after the release of Achtung Baby, which is a pretty good album) when they were doing all their crappy dance/pop/disco albums. With All That You Can't Leave Behind, U2 returned to their rock sound that is so fabulously exemplified by War, and I forgave them for their output in the 90s.

The record that restored my faith in rock:
Vol. 1
Traveling Wilburys, 1988

Faith in rock? Umm, that's a bit esoteric for me. I always believed, like Huey Lewis, that the heart of rock 'n' roll was still beatin' even when the old boy was barely breathin'. I chose the Traveling Wilburys due to the eras that were represented by this ultimate super group: Bob Dylan, George Harrison, Roy Orbison, Tom Petty, and that other guy (Jeff Lynne from the Electric Light Orchestra-the definite yawn factor in this otherwise great lineup). You had the old and new all represented...okay, even Tom Petty was pretty old when this came out, but he was still current.

I think this album did a lot to reintroduce people my age to the rock and roll that our parents loved. There were precursors to the Wilburys, most notably the success of George Harrison's song I've Got My Mind Set on You (1987), and the re-charting of the Beatles' version of Twist and Shout after it was lip synced by Matthew Broderick in the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off (it went to #23 on the charts in 1986). But this album introduced a whole new generation of fans to new music from guys that they didn't know much about outside of the local oldies stations and their parents' record collections.

The last record I fell in love with:
Tigerlily
Natalie Merchant, 1995

I only heard this album in its entirety this year since I lived under a self-imposed rock throughout most of the 90s and never bothered listening to anything other than the hits from it before. There is no one that can match the voice of this chanteuse, and this album is absolutely beautiful. This was Merchant's first project after leaving the 10,000 Maniacs, and I would say that it was a good move. For you discerning readers that are regulars here, you have no doubt seen this album displayed prominently in the "Music Currently in Rotation" area located in the right margin. It's been there since I made this fine purchase.

The record I couldn't live without:
Unchained (American II)
Johnny Cash, 2002

This album absolutely rocks. And if you ever watch TV, you've already heard part of one track (I've Been Everywhere is featured prominently on that insipid hotel commercial).

Sonically, it is different from the other, more acoustic, arrangements on the other American projects (those produced by Rick Rubin on American records). This album features a backing band (Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers), and they really let it all hang out. Considering Cash was in his seventies at the time, and was in and out of the hospital quite a bit, this album sounds incredibly lively and crisp. It has everything on it that you could want--spirituality (Spiritual, Kneeling Drunkard's Plea, Meet Me in Heaven, Unchained), excellent covers (Beck's Rowboat, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers' Southern Accents, Dean Martin's Memories are Made of These, and a most excellent version of Soundgarden's Rusty Cage), and classic Cash (Country Boy, Mean Eyed Cat, I've Been Everywhere). If you never pick up any of Cash's newer stuff again, check this out. It's been in my disc changer pretty much since I've owned it.

The record I'd like played at my funeral:
Sanctuary
Claire Holley, 1999

The Pope's declaration notwithstanding, my funeral will be a homecoming celebration. I found this little gem several years ago through some free downloads at Paste Music's site. It's a simple collection of old spiritual standards (and one original) accompanied by guitar, Hammond B-3, dobro, and mandolin. Her elderly father even contributes background vocals on Higher Ground. Clean, simple, and not the regular CCM schlock.

Let's hear how you would answer...click the Comments link and let 'em fly.

Of Papal Bulls and Papal Bull

Whatever.

15,000 Square Feet of Total Elvis!

I spent last weekend in Sevierville, TN with my wife's family. The company was great, but the location was not what I expected. While I knew we'd be in the vicinity of Great Smokey Mountains National Park, I had no idea that we would also be right around the corner from Dollywood and the aforementioned King. It was a redneck wonderland, complete with a NASCAR Speedpark.

Who knew that the road getting into town would be as busy as Myrtle Beach on Biker Week? To make the traffic worse, the town had a Super Wal-Mart, which turned out to be the busiest spot in town.

My brother- and sister-in-law (BIL and SIL) own a time share with a resort--one of those deals where you have your choice of several locations--and this was where we decided to go. As part of our incentive was the promise of free gifts for going and listening to the "90 minute presentation", which included a discounted room at the Governor's Inn (which, come to think of it, was located on Nascar Dr.). For you discerning readers that have experienced similar deals, you know about The Presentation. You go and the nice people try to convince you that you need to buy into the time share because you own it and can pass it on to your children. The most insulting part was where they told us that if we bought one and passed it on, that could be our "legacy". Gag.

I hope that I pass on more to my children than that.

But, back to Sevierville. I am constantly amazed at these United State of Generica. I can go to any city in this country and never really leave home. Think about it, you can read the USA Today in the lobby of your hotel as you sip your coffee from Starbucks. You can then go shopping at many fine outlet malls, which aren't really anything special, just strip malls for the impulsive buyer where you can get Nike tennis shoes, Bose speakers, and fine cutlery all at a discount. The difference between this outlet mall and the one near you? The location, because it certainly isn't the merchandise.

Besides the view of the Super Wal-Mart, my hotel balcony overlooked a Books-A-Million, a Texas Roadhouse (at which I did eat because as our parting gift following The Presentation, the little lady and I were given $75 in gift certificates to the place), and a bunch of other chains that just seemed to blend into the background. I cannot for the life of me imagine why anyone would go to such a place for vacation.

Just as an aside, I fear the generic-tization of things has now sadly crossed our borders and into other countries. In July 2001 I was in Dublin, Ireland on business. I asked my coworkers where a good place would be to grab dinner. The first response I got was an enthusiastic, "there's a new TGI Friday's!" Retch.

I mentioned Myrtle Beach earlier in this post. This town was very similar to Myrtle Beach except that a) there was no beach, b) there was no Ron Jon's, and c) the hooty bars and put-put golf courses were replaced with bust-yer-gut-all-you-can-stuff-into-yer-mouth restaurants that had shows. I am not kidding. There was a Chinese restaurant that featured an acrobat show, there was a wild west horse-riding rodeo show, there was a Dolly Parton owned and branded place, Southern Gospel singfests, Uncle Cracker-style comedy revues...and those were just the ones I could remember. To make it worse, when I went by them they were PACKED! Nothing like the smell of horse manure to go with your steak and potato! Ummm, that's good eatin'!

Apparently, this is what people in our country want. They want to get away and do all the stuff they usually do at home, only they want to do it several hours away from home...except for the shows...unless, of course, you happen to hail from Branson, MO.